This Is Not A Drill

Hawaiian

The erroneous Hawaiian ballistic missile alert is yet another example of the far too frequent stupid, funny, scary events of the past year.

As The Washington Post reported, a little after 8 a.m. local time Saturday, many Hawaii residents and visitors began posting screenshots of alerts they had received, reading: “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.”

It took 10 minutes for notification of the false alarm to get out.

It appears to have come from a state civil defense system that had recently reactivated Cold War era alerts due to the threat from North Korea.

Not to sound like a cranky old man, but we used to be better at this stuff. Decades of denigrating government and all of its functions seems to have taken its toll, down to just getting details like a missile alert right.

As someone pointed out on Twitter, at least this didn’t happen with blaring headlines during Fox & Friends. President Shithole was safely on one of his golf courses and away from the big button on his desk.

This is also a reminder that I really need to visit Hawaii. In the meantime, time for a Royal Hawaiian cocktail. Taken from Dale Degroff’s The Essential Cocktail, the Royal Hawaiian is:

1.5 oz gin

1 oz unsweetened pineapple juice

.5 oz lemon juice

.75 oz orgeat

Shake over ice, strain into a cocktail glass, no garnish.

Cheers!

 

On The Same Team?

Army

Go Army, Beat Navy! And they did last week by the score of 14-13. This college football rivalry goes back to 1890. As fun as the friendly rivalry is, everyone knows when the game is over, they play for the same team.

Our partisan rivalry may not be as friendly as Army v. Navy most of the time, but our traditions hold that everyone was playing for the same team once the elections were over. Lately, however, that doesn’t seem quite as clear.

In the past week since the football game we have had a number of reasons to wonder what team the Republicans are playing for. First, the Republican Party — minus a few prominent defections — was fully behind Roy Moore for Senate in Alabama. Even before credible allegations of child molestation came out, this is a man who has twice been removed from the bench in Alabama, believes the country was better during the days of slavery, and believes his interpretation of the Christian Bible supersedes the U.S. Constitution. Despite party backing, Moore lost in one of the most Republican states.

In the meantime, Trump and the GOP appear to be trying to dismantle the ability of government to work by either not filling positions (especially in the State Department), or nominating unqualified personnel as we saw again this week, or not letting those in place do their jobs. (Personally, I’d feel better if the Center for Disease Control findings were “science-based” or evidence-based.”)

The GOP has also wrangled its members so it now has the votes to pass sweeping tax “reform” that by all estimates benefits the rich at the expense of the poor and middle class. While maybe that doesn’t seem out of character for Republicans who have a tradition of being fiscal hawks. However, this bill will not cut the deficit or the debt, quite  the opposite adding $1 trillion to the latter. I’m not sure how traditional Republicans can say this is good for the country.

One thing that definitely is not good for the country is the way this week saw Congressional Republicans ramp up efforts to support Trump in killing investigations into Russian interference in the 2016 election. The Mueller investigation in particular, that has already resulted in two guilty pleas, has had Republicans trashing the FBI. Let that sink in. Republicans trashing the FBI.

The best possible outcome for the long-term health of our democracy is that Trump and his enablers actually are acting on behalf of Russia. Every other alternative is disheartening for the future of the United States.

So while you’re being nostalgic for the pre-Newt Gingrich days of partisanship, have an Army & Navy cocktail in honor of rivalry among teammates.

From Dr. Adam Elmegirab’s great new Book of Bitters, the Army & Navy is:

2 oz gin

.5 oz lemon juice

.25 oz orgeat syrup

2 dashes Dr. Adam’s Boker’s Bitters

Shake, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, lemon twist

Cheers!

Electoral Hanky-Panky

Hanky

It has been known for some time that the 2016 election was the target of questionable and underhanded activity brought on by Russian intelligence services. Our Intelligence Community has been telling us this for a year.

However, the past week saw the picture around this interference get clearer. On Monday came indictments of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort and his aide. But the more surprising news of the day was that former campaign foreign policy advisor George Papadopoulos had pleaded guilty to lying about contacts with Russia (and was cooperating with Mueller).

The week ended with the NY Times revelation that another Trump campaign foreign policy advisor, Carter Page, has told Congressional investigators that he met with Russian officials. This is contrary to many denials he has made to the media.

In between, it became clear that Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions were in a meeting when Papadopoulos talked about setting a meeting between Trump and Putin. This has a number of Senators questioning the truthfulness of comments Sessions made under oath.

Congress also heard from attorneys for Facebook, Twitter, and Google this week about the use of their platforms for Russian-linked groups to run very targeted campaign ads. This meeting did not leave members of Congress feeling very confident about what did happen in the election, or what might again in future elections.

Business Insider also revealed that Russian hacker Guccifer 2.0 had altered hacked DNC emails before making them public. The timeline of Guccifer’s appearance on the scene has an interesting correlation with things we are learning about the Trump campaign and its contacts with Russia. It has been noted online today (not completely confirmed yet) that Guccifer’s Twitter account began on June 9, 2016. That was the day of the Trump Jr, Kushner, and Manafort meeting with Russians in Trump tower. Either way, the first comment on DNC hack from Guccifer was June 15.

The jigsaw puzzle Mueller is working on began to take some shape this week. There was clearly some hanky-panky between Trump’s people and the Russians last year. While we wait for more pieces of the puzzle to get filled in, sit back with a Hanky-Panky cocktail.

This classic from the Savoy Cocktail Book has gotten a nice update in the fantastic new Meehan’s Bartender Manual by Jim Meehan. Using Meehan’s recipe, the Hanky-Panky is:

2 oz Tanqueray gin

1.5 oz Cocchi vermouth di Torino

.25 oz Fernet-Branca

Stir with ice, then strain into a chilled coupe. Garnish with an orange twist.

Cheers!

Incompetent v. Indifferent

Heart

As we approach 10 days after Hurricane Maria made landfall in Puerto Rico as a major Category 4 storm, the federal response to the suffering of 3.5 million American citizens has been woefully inadequate.

The devastation is almost unimaginable, with the electrical grid gone across the whole island with no prospect of repairs for months to years, and nearly 2 million people without drinking water. During these 10 days, President Trump has spent two weekends at his golf resorts. The Washington Post reports the first weekend, a Lost Weekend, hampered efforts to provide relief for Puerto Rico.

This past week, Trump then blamed relief efforts on the fact that Puerto Rico is an island. “This is an island, surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water,” Trump said.

This weekend, again from his golf course in New Jersey, Trump lashed out at Puerto Rican officials, particularly the mayor of San Juan, in a series of early morning tweets. Apparently her desperate pleas for help did not come with enough Hail to the Chief.

While some have called Maria Trump’s Katrina, CNN said it is much worse. I am not a fan of trying to refurbish the image of George W. Bush. However, Katrina showed the Bush Administration to not be very good at handling a crisis, but their incompetence did not suggest the level of uncaring we see today.

While the “big water” comment proves Trump is in search of a brain as much as Bush was, it would certainly help now if he at least had a heart. Since the wizard isn’t likely to bestow one on Trump any time soon, in the meantime we can drink a Have A Heart cocktail.

This classic from Dr. Cocktail Ted Haigh’s Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails book is:

1.5 oz gin

.75 oz Swedish Punsch

.75 oz lime juice

.25 oz grenadine

Cheers!

Sun Stealer

Sun Stealer

During a brief window of time today, the vast majority of Americans will focus their attention on something other than Donald Trump. Never fear, though, Cheeto Mussolini has scheduled a nationally televised announcement about Afghanistan later to regain the spotlight.

The Total Solar Eclipse brings a wealth of metaphor today, from darkness spreading across the United States to my ISO-approved star-spangled solar eclipse glasses emblazoned with the logo American Eclipse 2017. The moon blotting out the sun is actually not the first time in the past seven months that Trump has not been the center of attention.

The brilliant Amy Siskind, who is chronicling all of the things that are changing under the Trump regime, has noted how the events in Charlottesville last week had sidelined Trump’s ability to control the headlines. Siskind tweeted:

“Starting Saturday in Charlottesville, for the first time in a long time, Trump lost the narrative. He is no longer driving the news cycle with his palace drama or North Korea or Venezuela or his random shiny coin for the day — the American people are driving the narrative. … This is not sustainable for him. … One of two things will happen next: he will continue to crumble under the weight of awakening by decent American people of what brought Trump into power (other than Russia). This is not our country. Or, he may throw a shinier coin — this prospect scares me — to distract again and take back the narrative.”

Of course, Trump tossed that shinier coin and stole back the narrative with his praise for the “very fine people” amongst the Nazis and white supremacists.

The onslaught of outrages from Trump is constantly eclipsing the previous offense. It has only been 13 days since Trump threatened North Korea with “fire and fury,” and 12 days since we learned that the FBI had raided the home of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort as part of Robert Mueller’s Russian election interference investigation.

As Trump heads to TV tonight in the wake of the eclipse, obscuring the planned Paul Ryan Town Hall meeting on CNN, it’s time for the very appropriate Sun Stealer cocktail. The only real question now is, how’s it going to end.

Via Kindred Cocktail, the Sun Stealer is:

2 oz gin

.75 oz Punt e Mes

.25 oz Creme de Cacao

.25 oz Fernet Branca

1 dash orange bitters

lemon twist as garnish

Stir over ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass, garnish.

Cheers!

The Day After

Dawn

The day after Cheeto Mussolini rekindled for Cold War survivors the existential dread of nuclear annihilation, we’re still here.

During a briefing the other day, Trump made his remarks about how North Korea would be met with “fire and fury…the likes of which the world has never seen before” if they continue to threaten the U.S.

For all of his live tweeting of Fox News, the “fire and fury” comment seems to suggest Trump spends time on HBO as well. It’s just not yet clear whether he was all aped up over the Game of Thrones Dragon Battle scene, or he was watching reruns of the Wire and grabbed the line from the Blind Boys of Alabama.

To distract from the tightening noose of the Mueller Russia investigation (and the revelation that the FBI raided former aide Paul Manafort’s home), Trump is poking at the historically unstable Kim Jong Un and the North Korean regime.

If there’s any silver lining it’s that he is not more subtle and clever in creating the Reichstag fire he needs.

Trump’s aides were trying to downplay his remarks – Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said, “I think Americans should sleep well at night, have no concerns about this particular rhetoric of the last few days.” Nevertheless, president little hands was touting his big arsenal again this morning.

At least the sun did come up again for humanity today, so celebrate with a Golden Dawn cocktail. According to Dr. Cocktail Ted Haigh, the drink was named for the 1930 film adaptation of a Rogers and Hammerstein operetta. As Haigh put it:

“This was one spectacularly bad movie, replete with a singing Noah Beery in blackface, songs with titles like ‘My Bwana’ and ‘Hymn to Domestic Violence,’ in an all-singing two-strip Technicolor musical about prisoners of war in colonial Africa.”

Seems appropriate, and of course the more modern connotation with the Greek ultranationalist neo-Nazi party, which also seems to fit with the Trump effect.

From Haigh’s Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails the Golden Dawn is:

.75 oz Calvados (or apple jack)

.75 oz dry gin

.75 oz apricot brandy (or liqueur)

.75 oz orange juice

Shake vigorously over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, garnish with a stemless cherry dropped into the glass and dribble a little pomegranate grenadine through the drink.

Cheers to another morning!

 

 

Better Left Dead

Reviver

Senate Republicans narrowly squeaked out enough votes to begin debating their plans to repeal Obamacare, even though there is no bill yet.

The only things that seem consistent with GOP ideas for “Repealing and Replacing” Obamacare is that tens of millions of Americans will lose their health insurance, that pre-existing conditions may well be uncovered again, and that basically this benefits no one but members of Congress and their ultra-rich donors.

Yet somehow this keeps coming back to life. While that may suggest the appropriate drink is a Zombie, I have two issues with that.

First, that would be a lot of Rum for a Tuesday night. Second, with a Zombie you pretty much know what you’re getting, but we have no idea what this healthcare reform might look like as it is being done in secret by a handful white male Republican Senators with no public hearings.

Therefore, I propose tonight is a night for a Corpse Reviver #2 cocktail. For one thing, you never know what will happen once the corpse is revived (Could have the brain of Abby Normal). This classic cocktail is also an eye opener, and we certainly need that right now.

You’ll often see it made with Lillet Blanc, but I really prefer using Cocchi Americano and believe it is closer to the original from the days of the 1930 Savoy Cocktail Book.

.75 oz gin

.75 oz Cocchi Americano

.75 oz Cointreau

.75 oz lemon juice

scant barspoon Absinthe

Shake vigorously over ice and strain into a chilled coupe.

This is one of my all-time favorite classic cocktails, enjoy!

Cheers!